Lost Episodes

No, I'm not talking about the TV show "Lost." Breath in, then out... Ok, regroup... Ah, good, the shock is over - now we can talk about the lost random thoughts of Caroline :)

There is one entry I did not post before, and another one that's so short it doesn't deserve it's own page, which is from tonight. The first is titled "What if there were no hell?" I was going to write this the other night, but a rather stupid demon paid me a visit and freaked me out so bad I forgot to write the blog entry. Yes, I prayed and asked for God's Protection. No, this unnamed demon didn't "do" or even "say" anything at first, though later I heard it pawing through some boxes in the other room for a couple of minutes before it left as quickly and quietly as it came. Why would a demon pay me a visit? Long story. Email me and ask me about the details if you wish. Yeah, I believe in cliff-hangers. Did you really think I'd miss out on this lovely little opportunity to keep you on the edge of your seat? Why didn't I write any of you about it before? I've spent a good almost 2 days "cozying up" to the idea that I've actually seen a demon. It's no small thing, believe me. I'm doing alright though. Oh, and the truth is that for the first 12 or more hours after this happened, I actually forgot that it HAD happened. It was while I was chatting with Erik that I even remembered it. That was God's Mercy on my brain, believe me.

Anyway, now to get on to writing the blog entry I was going to write when I was so dumbly interupted...

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"What if there were no hell?"

So, what if there weren't a hell? What if there were only God's Love to drive people rather than people loving Him and each other out of fear of the threat of eternal death? Now, I'm not even going to deal with all the theology of whether or not Lucifer became satan, nor with the theology of eternal death (this is what I believe in) vs. flames burning forever (this is commonly taught today) in this scenario: I'm going to establish that in this question, there is a satan, there is sin, and there is a choice of whether to sin or not.

So, in this scenario, without the threat of eternal death, my question is this: would you choose God or the consequences of sin in this lifetime (hurting others, hurting yourself, etc.)? Would you WANT to live in Heaven with God? Would you want the benefits of people learning to forgive each other out of Love for each other and God, simply because He said so? Would you want to party down with God? To Sing and Dance with Him? Would you give yourself completely to Him, even if He had not been required by His own Law to die for you to keep you out of hell? Would you TRULY Love Him?

John 8:11 "...Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more."

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I Praise God that I have been Allowed by Him to finally write that entry. Now, for the other one.

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"Would you give up the love of your life for Heaven?"

That is the question God put in my heart tonight. This came after a tumultuous day. I've been all over the place, basically emotionally tortured by this thing of needing to be with my human husband. Laura and I emailed quite a bit about it, and then when I really felt like I had just broken, I saw Erik's IM screenname and it rivetted my attention to the most important focus of my life, my Husband. While the post mentioned within the post Wow helped somewhat, I still was loosing Focus. I do not believe that it's wrong to be honest about a very real need in my life and the struggle I have to continue trusting God to fill that need. And I don't believe it's wrong to ask all of you to pray that He'll fill that need very soon. But it is true that I was loosing focus on my Husband.

What was Erik's screenname? You'll laugh and he'll snort when he reads the rest of this: "Apparently Mr. Hunter was good enough to die for our sins... - but not quite up to the task of seducing green women." I had NO idea what this meant (though it is true that my first thought was the venetian green painted woman from the "lost" first episode of Star Trek TOS). I even asked Erik at first who Mr. Hunter was, because I was genuinely confused. But I walked away from my Delly (Dell Notebook - that's her name: "Delly") and then God tapped me on the shoulder and told me what I was supposed to get out of this. Who's the Great Hunter of the sky? Where is it that I was raised to look for Jesus in the sky? What did Jesus do for me? And what did I start out being today? (It's true that at first I was jealous of many, many women I know who are married or engaged and getting on with their lives, though it's also true that I worked past that and got to the heart of my hurt feelings, which was just simply missing my honey, whoever and whereever he is). And why was I struggling so hard with all of this? Where should my focus be and why wasn't it on Him???? It was as if Erik was mocking me for somehow not feeling God trying to Seduce me...

Now I'll explain here that NO, Erik was not making fun of me. As it turns out, he had NO clue what was going on with me, and this had to do with the actor who's last name is Hunter, who played both Captain Pike (in Star Trek) and Jesus (in some Christian film). And this wasn't even Erik's quote! He heard it on "Family Guy." But I HAD to ask myself "Why, of ALL days, did Erik put that up there and WHY did God point this out to me when I had kind of given up trying to figure out what in the WORLD Erik could mean by this?"

Then tonight, God asked me if I would give up my human husband for Him. He did NOT tell me to do that, nor was He trying to bargain with me! He was making a point: my heart needs to be only in tune with HIS Seducing me towards Him, as He so desires to do so.

And still, God woos me... Beautiful.
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